Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Farmville is her only friend.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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