Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
