Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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