Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
