Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
