My hand turned me down
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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