Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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