You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Houston, we have a blender
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
