Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
