You just made me feel so damn special
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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