woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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