I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
