My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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