Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
