Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
