If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
