i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
