Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
