Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
