Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
