Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She bit a glass in half.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
