In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
