my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
