The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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