I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
