That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
