Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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