girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
