Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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