we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
