We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
