I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I accidentally burped into my bong.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
