Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
