I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And then my night got REAL pukey
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
