I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
