Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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