How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
