booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Everclear isn't food dammit
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
