I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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