so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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