i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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