fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
