Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
