That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
