we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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