I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I see more hoeing in ur future
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