Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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