i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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