Barsexuality is the new black.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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