East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
