I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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