I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
