Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
