true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We need to rekindle our bromance
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
