tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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