ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
