she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
