You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
