Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
